


A Little Ditty

by Amymel86



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Risqué song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amymel86/pseuds/Amymel86
Summary: Badrick travels North to perform his songs. Some of them are not appreciated for the masterpieces that Badrick thinks they are.





	A Little Ditty

**Author's Note:**

> Separating some of my ficlets

Badrick was and always had been a gifted singer, he wasn't too bad on the fiddle either. But more than that, he loved to entertain. He was never happiest than when he could pull smiles, laughter, cheers and applause from whatever audience he could gather.

And so it came to no surprise to his friends and family that he had chosen the life of a theatrical. He hoped to join a travelling company of mummers but his tiny village brought no such spectacle.

So Badrick travelled alone, gathering coin and lodgings in turn for his performances in many an inn, tavern and even the odd brothel.

The long lonely hours upon a horse between town and village gave him pause to start turning his mind. He'd sung the same old ditties and ballads for weeks now - perhaps he could compose his own?

His personally penned songs went down well with the crowds - he even had drunkards pathetically sing his own lyrics back at him while they swayed on their feet.

The most popular tunes seemed to be those with humorous and saucy lyrics and so he concentrated on those - it was amazing how many words he could make rhyme with 'cock' and 'tits'.

As he carried on his journey further north, he realised his next destination to be Wintertown, the closest town to the seat of The King. Badrick had heard the rumours - it was hard to avoid them considering the establishments he frequented. And so he fancied himself in need of a new ditty.

He composed lyric and tune upon his horse. He practised till he knew the song inside and out and now - as he approached the first tavern on the outskirts of town - he felt ready to perform his new masterpiece.

Glancing around the establishment, Badrick noticed many a man already deep in his cups and tavern wenches sitting atop the laps of patrons - yes, these people would appreciate his new saucy song, he was sure. He spoke with the barkeep and negotiated board and lodgings in return for his entertaining the man's customers.

A table was cleared and Badrick climbed on top, clearing his throat to gain attention before he started his new song.....

_Come gather ye here, I'll tell ye a tale of The White Wolf King and his Sister,_  
_He fiercely fought flayed man and all because his fists had kissed her,_  
_His rage burns hot and fire red_  
_like the hair of his sister's cunt,  
And he finds that it's her little peach that fills his cock with want_!

_Oh did you ever hear such a sound_  
as two wolves howlin'?  
_He'll bend her over and fill her up  
'till her cunny has him growilin_ '

_Now King he is but the Sister rules_  
_And rules with a saucy whip,_  
_He finds no fault at that merry thought,  
as at her cunt he doth worship_!

_Oh did you ever hear such a sound_  
_as two wolves howlin'?_  
_She'll ride his cock back and forth  
'till her cunny has him growlin_ '

_She'll wed no other, he's seen to that,_  
_He's run through many a suitor,_  
She's bewitched him with her warm wet cunt  
_And he's the only cock who'll breach her!_

_Oh did you ever hear such a sound_  
_as two wolves howlin'?_  
_She'll spread her legs and let him in  
'till her cunny has him growlin_ '

_She screams his name throughout the night_  
_It's really quite the din,_  
_And the people they turn their blind eye,  
At the royal siblings carnal sin_!

To say that Badrick was surprised at the silence that followed was an understatement. He'd judged the subject matter badly, he realised as the barkeep grabbed him from atop the table and shoved him to a seat.

"Eat" he commanded as he slid a small bowl of stew under Badrick's nose "and think hard upon the next ditties you recount son - you'll find nought but love here for the King and Lady, despite the rumours....and I'll thank you to remember it" he said, slamming a mug of ale in front of him before he returned to behind the bar.

Badrick hardly noticed the young couple who came to sit next to him as he chewed on the tough meat in his stew and contemplated what songs to sing next. His eyes suddenly caught on some flesh being exposed at the corner of his eye.

He turned his head, not bothering to hide his curiosity as he openly gawked at the woman sat on the lap of her male partner. He had pushed his hand up her skirt, running it over her thigh, causing her skirts to ride up, exposing her slender milk white calf right up to her knee. She wore a hood covering her hair and the majority of her face, Badrick fancied she was quite beautiful under it though.

The couple were deep into each others mouths, seemingly trying to taste the others tonsils. Badrick felt safe enough to look his fill at the young girl as she wiggled in her dark haired partners lap.

As quick as a flash, there appeared the blade of a dagger at his neck. Badrick's hand was paused in mid air, clutching his ale as it had made it halfway to his mouth.

"You are not permitted to gawk so openly at my Lady sir, I suggest you avert your eyes respectfully" the dagger owner growled. Badrick noticed his lips were red and swollen from his previous fervent activity. The girl giggled, her arms still hung about her partners neck.

"I...I...apologise sir...I meant no harm" Badrick stuttered as he tried to turn from the couple. The blade was pressed more firmly to his throat.

"You wrote that song you performed"? The dark haired man asked with quiet threat in his voice.

"I...I did" Badrick gulped in response.

"You will NOT perform it again" the man growled. The girl began kissing and licking the dark haired man's neck.

"....I won't..I swear it.."

"Come come now" the woman said in her musical voice "I quite enjoyed the piece".

The dark haired man turned to raise a questioning brow at the girl in his lap, his hand held the dagger steady at Badrick's neck.

The girl giggled "you know how I love colourful language J-... husband" she stifled yet another laugh "besides" she continued whilst dragging a seductive finger down his neck and chest "I've heard that the King does 'bend her over and fill her up'...quite frequently" she purred. The couple began tasting each other's lips again as they groaned against one another. Badrick tried to move away from them but the dagger was pressed tighter to him when he did.

The man's free hand slapped the woman's behind causing her to break their kiss with a squeal. "In fact" she licked her lips "rumour has it he's had her scream all about that castle".

The dark haired man gave his 'wife' a sly grin "now I'm not one to listen to rumours and the like...but I've seen the Lady of Winterfell with my own two eyes..."

"Oh yes"? The girl licked a long stripe up his neck. The man groaned.

"Yes....and I say any man who shuns the opportunity to worship at her cunt would be a fool indeed" he rasped as he claimed her lips again.

They were interrupted by a serving girl clearing her throat. The couple broke their lips apart but stayed entangled. The dagger had not moved from Badrick's neck. The serving girl eyed the weapon. Badrick silently pleaded with the girl for some help. She seemed indifferent to the threat he was facing and the dark haired man was unashamed at his behaviour.

"Your usual room is ready your Gr- sir" she bobbed her head at the man. He slapped his girl's arse again as she rose from his lap, a striking copper red tendril came loose from her hooded head as she threw her neck back in her laughter.

The man grinned up at the woman and leaned into Badrick. Without taking his eyes off of his 'wife' he hissed his final threat "If I hear that song again, I shall personally remove your tongue and balls - do you hear me boy"? Badrick nodded animatedly.

"Good" the dark haired man barked out in his gruff voice. He flipped the dagger in his hand so that he grasped the blade end now, Badrick thought he saw a large wolf carved into the white ivory of the handle.

The man's woman stood with a wicked grin and an outstretched arm to her 'husband' "come" she commands before finishing her words with a whisper "let us see if my cunny gets you growlin' my love".

Badrick never did sing that song again.

 

 


End file.
